At the start of June I felt the need to reset and recharge…like wanting to start over.
I felt tired but was not finding time to take it slow or take time off. I kept wanting to do more. I had many plans and goals to achieve but my energy was low and enthusiasm diminishing.
I have spent a fair amount of time sharpening my axe, learning from industry leaders and following leadership mentors and coaches; yet in this season I felt like I was missing something. It felt like I was moving but not getting anywhere.
I then fell sick with Covid19 and on the morning following the worst night of battling covid19 (I could feel myself failing to breath and fearing to fall asleep) I asked God one question… ‘why did You let me get Covid19? Why did I have to have it?’
His answer was simple, “Noeleen, will you stop and do nothing?”
This was a pivotal moment for me and I had to accept that I needed to stop and not do anything. The one thing I am not used to and I struggle with is not doing anything. The ‘doing nothing’ resulted in a bit of rest and a turning point to my recovery.
The entire experience helped me accept that many are the plans of man but God ultimately makes the decision and His plans prevail. He knows what we need before we ask.
I stayed in bed and slept for most of that day. Not even my thoughts kept me busy and, in truth, the only thing I did was rest. That was the day I felt myself starting to recover and regaining strength. It was an awakening to the truth that when we accept the fact that every plan of God is a good plan, and that He also holds our own plans together to make them work for our good, we turn to rest.
Thinking back, I wonder if the slug I felt at the beginning of June was a way of God indicating to me to rest. Was my ear deaf to that soft voice of God saying “Noeleen, will you just not do anything?”
From that nothingness came recovery and renewed strength. Now I find myself in a place where I constantly tell myself that ‘God is in control. It is not up to me but up to Him and it is always going to be working for good.’
This experience also validated that we need more than our wisdom and experience to realise our goals, plans and dreams.
The looming question of ‘why I had to get Covid19?’ beckoned the only response we know well: Seek the Lord first. “In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:12-13 NLT.
I also remembered the power of ‘Pause! Pray and listen’.
‘So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit” says the Lord Almighty.’ Zechariah 4:6 NIV
In a time of no reference, no answers to many questions and surmounting volatility, I’m reminded that the spirit of God renders answers; it brings to recollection the track record of the God of all possibility.
Maybe like me you’ve felt the need for something new. Maybe you have been trying to rack up new strategies or look for fresh wind. Let me remind us that it is not by our might nor by our power but always and always by the Spirit.
Sometimes we think it’s only big and scary challenges that are overcome by the help and power of the Spirit but it is also that which we think is small ,or we can easily control, that is achieved by the Holy Spirit on our behalf.
In addition, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the broken-hearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favour has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.”
Isaiah 61:1-2 NLT
As I stay busy with realising my plans towards achieving my dreams; it will all be in vain if I didn’t bring the Good News, comfort the broken-hearted, speak freedom to the captive and continue to declare the favour of the Lord – a call to all Believers.
So, God I look to you.
You are where my help comes from, the maker of Heaven and earth.
You never slumber or sleep and it’s for this reason that we continue to RISE.